I love books.
I mainly consume content relevant to mental, financial and physical well-being. This blog is going to focus on an area of mental well-being that always interests me.
It’s how our brains are wired and what it does from both subconscious and conscious perspectives. This shapes the quality of our lives and those around us.
Evolution has predisposed the human brain to negative thinking. I'm now very attuned to seeing and hearing this in action. Take the following example below which I'm sure many have experienced!)
Child: "Please, can I have a drink?"
Adult: "Sure, here you go. Make sure you don't spill it."
Can you see the negative? “Don’t spill it.” As humans, we love to focus on the negative.
Yet, when we do this in front of our children, we subconsciously pass the negative to them.
Instead, let's rewind…
Child: "Please, can I have a drink?"
Adult: "Sure, here you go. Hold it nicely."
A simple change in the phrase can positively impact the outcome.
Peer-reviewed research has proven that you do what you think. If they focus on not spilling the drink, they will spill it. On the other hand, they will likely hold it nicely if they concentrate on holding it nicely.
Implementing this in all our lives will not only benefit us but those around us.
It isn’t easy and it takes time, conscious thought, and consistency to become a habit. I'm not perfect at it and will be forever working on it.
The next time you hear someone talk about a positive change they are making;
“I’m stopping drinking.”
“I’ve quit smoking but this time for good!”
“I’ve cut out all refined sugar!”
They will then, go straight into reeling off lots of sacrifices they are making to accommodate it.
"I'm giving up drinking."
"Don't ask me why; I love a nice chardonnay."
"Especially on a Friday evening."
"With the fire on and a big bar of dairy milk."
"What on earth am I thinking."
"This is going to be hard."
All this focuses on the sacrifices (usually multiple for each positive change). This impacts our subconscious and plays a massive role in us giving in to the sacrifices. Before you know it, they’ve given up completely and back to square one.
Simply changing the focus from the negatives to the positives will drastically improve making it happen.
"I'm giving up drinking."
"Which means I'll feel much better in the mornings."
"Especially on Saturday morning."
"I'll be waking the kids up for a change."
"Do you know I'll be consuming 4,800 fewer calories each month?"
The same goal but a different language will lead to a different mindset, which means a different outcome.
I am not against sacrifices; I am for priorities.
I don’t want you to shy away from sacrifices; forget about or acknowledge them.
You should be proud of your sacrifices and realise you are making them, but always remember they are being made for you to achieve something greater.
Whether you realise it or not, we make hundreds of conscious and subconscious sacrifices daily; it's impossible for us not to. We have a finite amount of time each day, so we have to decide what to do (make a priority) and what not to do (sacrifice) almost every minute of every day.
Even reading this blog - you are prioritising it over watching TV, scrolling through social media, working or something else.
The key to making it subconscious in everything you do is to make it a priority. But, to make something a priority is not something we say; it is something we do.
Everything about you at this moment is because you have historically made a priority in your life. You will have made and taken some conscious decisions, but the vast majority will have been automatic and subconscious. Nevertheless, they have been your priorities.
You can change your priorities, but it isn’t easy.
It takes focus, attention and consistency. And working on your mental well-being is also imperative to achieving it. You must get deep and philosophical to identify what you truly want them to be. Then you have to put an outrageous amount of time, focus, effort and consistency into transforming them into things that will easily overpower your current priorities and take over.
The priorities I consciously work hard on every day consist of:
Family first: Be a present husband and father and help my girls be amazing humans
Physical & Mental health: Enhance my current time & extend my natural time
Health & well-being of others: My purpose
Financial health: Secure my daughter's and our financial independence
Giving back: With my time, resources, finances and knowledge
I’d like you to write down your priorities. Read them and place them somewhere you will see them every day. These will become your driving force in life.
Just remember to always frame your sacrifices within the priorities, which are, by definition, the essential things in your life.
Be proud that you are moving closer to that priority, and it will mean so much more that you are sacrificing multiple other things.
Use these priorities to build your Time Equation, the first step to enhancing and extending your natural time. If you need a hand, please get in touch.