Relationships: Are you ready?
Ready to make some changes?
That's great; however, before we crack on, have you considered that your relationships may be impacted and changed, sometimes materially?
Why, you may ask? From experience, I can tell you that when you make pretty drastic, life-changing, kick-ass 'holy shit' decisions. The people around you will tend to fall into one of three categories:
- Supporters
- Concerned
- Hecklers
Supporters
These are your rocks, your greatest fans and cheerleaders. Tell them your plans, and they say, "Holy shit - fucking love it, now go knock it out of the ballpark".
They will ask you about 'how it's going' with a genuine hope that you are succeeding. And are the ones who will go out of their way to make your progress towards whatever it is you're trying to achieve as smoothly as possible. For example, if you're giving up drinking, they will have a soft drink when you go out for that meal together, even though they've had a brutal day and need a large glass of red!
Concerned
Genuine, and I mean 'genuine', not a fake concern.
These are usually the closest, most loved people in your life, those who would give you their last Rolo. Think Mum, Dad, Nan etc. They will ask you some questions to ensure you have thought this through, it is precisely what you want and that you have considered all the possible outcomes.
Answer yes to these, and they will simply and seamlessly fall into the supporter category.
Hecklers
Some you will instinctively know, some may take a while, some will be blatantly obvious, and unfortunately, some won't even realise they are doing it (however, be warned, this is few and far between). The vast majority of these know precisely what they are doing.
It can be as simple as a comment, a chuckle, a smirk, or involve negative discussions about you with others. You need to realise that their problem is not you; it is themselves. Unfortunately, their biggest fear is that your progress will shine a spotlight on their lack of progress.
A bit overdramatic, Trev! I'm simply going to start focusing on my health; no one will even notice
Trust me, as sure as the sun rises; it will happen, you will hear:
Look at that weirdo scanning their food.
Have a beer, you soft sod.
I'll look out for you on the front cover of Vogue then, should I?
What are you doing with that rabbit food on your plate?
You're boring.
If unprepared for this, it can severely derail and even stop you from achieving your goal. Ask yourself:
Are they in a position I want to be in?
Have they achieved what I want to achieve?
Are they on the same/ similar journey?
Are they qualified/ experienced to offer advice?
Do they have the same goal as me?
Chuck the wood they've just given you on the fire and crack on
If the answer is no - smile, get your head down, chuck the wood they've just given you on the fire and crack on.
